Traditions

It seems like as I’ve gotten older I’ve celebrated fewer and fewer holidays and traditions.  It may be that living in Thailand for four years reset my inner holiday calendar. It may be that I live with someone who doesn’t have the same traditions I grew up with. It may also be that I’ve lost interest in the commercial aspects of the holidays I grew up with and have never found a substitution. Certainly all of these factors have contributed. But I miss being festive, even if I don’t miss the commercial hype. And lately I’ve been thinking more about what sorts of festivities I want to include in my year.  

The first thing to catch my attention this season was a Diwali festival put on by Intel India. This was the first time I’ve been to anything like this. The show, full of dancing, singing and funny skits was supposed to last three hours, but went on for five. I was surprised that my attention could be held for so long, but this was also a great chance to learn about and enjoy the celebration of another culture. “We should do something like this more often,” I told Sugata.

The second thing to catch my attention came from reading a memoir about an English teacher in North Korea. (Suki Kim, Without You There Is no Us). She described “kimjang,” in North Korea and described it in South Korea as well. It sounded fun, everyone peeling garlic and preparing cabbage together.  Making kimchi. What a great idea. And because I had a day or two and wanted to get better at making kimchi, I began to imagine that this might be a great fall tradition, and of course even more fun with people to help. My friend L and I decided to do this together. We brined our cabbage the same night (something I had not done properly the first time I made kimchi) and the following day we got together to make our batches together. I now have several jars in my fridge. And I brined it right this time.

The third thing to catch my attention happened through a series of circumstances, the first of which is called “Thanksgiving vacation.” Sugata took a few extra days off work leaving him with six consecutive days to do something in. However, I have too much homework to do to go on a vacation somewhere. (You know you’ll never do homework even if you take it along). Instead we agreed to do something fun every day and to write, every day. In a couple of months we will be going to India, and when we take these trips, we write, but not as much as we wish we would. This would be our chance to practice. So we’ve been writing, a little every day for…well, only two out of six days now.

Already it has not been easy. It is a 9:40 p.m. (Sugata has been inspired by a book of poems, Dog Songs by Mary Oliver, and has been writing poetry. Which makes me think that perhaps taking a whole month every year to appreciate poetry through reading and writing it might be another worthy tradition to add. 

The fourth thing: Thanksgiving. It seems that somehow Thanksgiving has been with me more persistently than any other holiday. Perhaps because it is less commercial. Perhaps because you always get two days off and then the weekend. 

One of my earliest dates with Sugata was at a Feast of Nations potluck held at my friends’ house. They’d been keeping the tradition since college. When kids who lived close to college went home, they had the international students over.  They’ve been having similar potlucks on Thanksgiving day ever since.

This year Sugata and I shared food with our neighbors T and L (also college friends) who we are so fortunate to live right across the street from. I tried to make paneer tikka masala. Sugata made a quiche and some banana chocolate walnut bread. L made knish, green bean salad, and flaky apple turnovers. We spent a good part of the afternoon with them and their two-year-old son who laughs and shrieks almost constantly as he and Sugata play.

I am looking forward to whatever festivities the future may hold, and I think I’m starting to get some ideas of what to keep doing.